28.6.04
existential angst
why are we here? we arrive on this tiny speck of dirt called earth, study, work, fornicate, reproduce, hate, worry, love, fight, teach, achieve, learn, dream, and just when we get all puffed up about our own importance, we die. what is the point of all this? how different can you really make your life? it's all so ...ummm...boring! u know, what i mean?
for instance, why am i so singularly unecstatic about having fulfilled my life's dream of becoming a diplomat? after all, there are lakhs of people who would die (and kill) for what i've achieved...then why don't i feel that overwhelming sense of achievement that everybody assumes i should feel? every day i wake up trying to whip up some enthusiasm, reminding myself of all the times as a child that i had replied 'IFS' to the question of what i wanted to be in life (never IAS, mind you :-) ) but to no avail...
for instance, why am i so singularly unecstatic about having fulfilled my life's dream of becoming a diplomat? after all, there are lakhs of people who would die (and kill) for what i've achieved...then why don't i feel that overwhelming sense of achievement that everybody assumes i should feel? every day i wake up trying to whip up some enthusiasm, reminding myself of all the times as a child that i had replied 'IFS' to the question of what i wanted to be in life (never IAS, mind you :-) ) but to no avail...
